Drugged up

I just watched Korn rock out on youtube, and I had a moment where I was convinced I was there. Not because the quality of the video was awesome, or I was watching full screen or anything, I just all of a sudden understood where they were coming from. Bodies racked by dying drug highs, clammy and shivering, rough long sleeve shirts, not washed for the last two days on the road. Rocking out in front of fanatic fans, headbanging because your job depends on it, even though the beat is old. Sick of your own music, you know you aren't really the greatest musicians ever, extensive vamping and some pro mixers and speakers that go louder than the audience can take are keeping your show on the road. Tired, sleep is paramount in your thoughts, you regret the high this morning, it left you too tired to really face the day well, and you know you should have held off on it until after the show. You shuffle tiredly off stage, sign a few tshirts, album covers, posters, images of yourself. With the help of a few enthusiastic careless roadies, you get your gig loaded, and you shuffle off to your next high and sleep after that. You will eat in the morning, you promise yourself, and then maybe write a few lyrics to a new song while on the road in your old van to your next show.

I could almost do it. I think I might be able to take it. A life with my instrument, life, a stale, old, ruined life on the road with a worn guitar and battered car.